Sunday brain flush

Thankfully, my least favorite month is drawing to a close.  A psychiatrist once made the clinical diagnosis that “November sucks for you.”  I couldn’t agree more.  This November seems to be departing without delivering any earth shattering kabooms so I have that going for me.  Just a couple more days, and I’ll hopefully sneak out November’s back door unnoticed.  Then I’ll begin the countdown to the little Princess’ arrival. 

So, I’ve reached a year of unemployment.  If one is in need of some ego management, I strongly recommend extended joblessness as an antidote.  Beyond just the destitution, which is loads of fun in and of itself, the self doubt, recriminations from others, rejections, pervasive sense of failure and constant reevaluation of self worth will tame even the most raging arrogance. 

It’s been a couple months since I came off the Appalachian Trail.  I often miss it.  The simplicity of it was seductive.  At its most basic essence, a day on the trail consists of moving from point A to point B and finding water along the way.  I miss the clarity of thought that walking alone in the woods brings.  Back here in the world, the previously mentioned self doubt makes me question whether it was clarity or just escapism.  I miss the little moments of delight; a speckled toad hopping past, the vivid green of a fern after rainfall, a fawn and its mother warily watching me pass, or a shaft of sunlight piercing through a thick forest canopy.

The Koreas are playing a very risky game of Battleship today, “I’ll send artillery rounds to B3!”, Sarah Palin is unclear which side we’re on in the matter, and America has commenced our annual frenzy of consumerism.  On the plus side, the Utes won the Holy War yesterday, and the sun is shining on a cold, winter is coming sort of morning.

It’s Sunday which means it is noodle day for the BSW clan.

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One Response to Sunday brain flush

  1. Tom Scoville says:

    Unemployment is not for the faint of heart, nor is the psychic devastation that can accompany the approaching winter as embodied by the month of November. Still, nothing sucks so much as the feeling that everything just sucks. What it sucks is the drive out of you, the worth, the dignity, and eventually the ability out of you. Yes, life sucks, but you don’t.
    Your Appalachian adventure was hardly escapism. You were accomplishing something of worth and all the while observing the beauty that was right there to be seen. I was among those cheering you on and was so glad to see someone, anyone do something about the situation other than just bitch. You empowered me, in a vicarious way, to do something more than just complain about what was happening around me. If that’s escapism, then please escape again, if only to your backyard and tell us all what you find there. You don’t have to travel far to find something lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy. After all, the Utes won.

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