Considering a degenerative disease

So, I have rheumatoid arthritis.  It sucks, but it is what it is.  It is painful.  It is continuous.  It is damaging.  It is a war of attrition.

I recently saw a commercial for Enbrel.  Phil Mikkelson espoused it.  It has side effects like Lymphoma, severe allergic reaction, and decreased mental function.  I churned through that drug a couple years ago until it stopped working.  Step up to the new drugs with the really good side effects, Phil.  Swing away, pal….if you can.

I have been recently vocal about my opinion of my current health care provider and their hesitance and cost to provide me with my meds.  I’d like to elaborate on my anxiety and stress on this topic.  Every time I have an arthritis flare up, I have permanent damage done to my joints.  I will never do another push up because my wrist bones are nearly fused.  I will never wear a wedding ring because my fingers are deformed.  I will eventually be crippled.   My shoe size has expanded three times because of deformed bones.  I was once a world class athlete.  Now, I smile and nod at jokes about my weight gain made by fat people with no valid reason for being fat.  I accept that.  It is what it is. 

I won’t apologize for raging against the dying of the light.  My current health insurance sucks, it was selected for cost control, and it is damaging.  It is my employer’s right to control costs.  It is the health insurance entity’s right to profit from me.  In the six weeks that they denied my meds I had several arthritic flare ups while they gave me the run around, “lost” my records several times, and generally did everything possible to delay approving the prescription.  Every flare up caused permanent damage. 

In the midst of that, I was advised that I should tone down my rhetoric about this process.  I have never commented on or even identified my employer.  I have only commented on the insurance entity to whom I am a customer paying a lot of money.  While bean counters make objective decisions to cut costs in a conference room, I become more crippled.  Yet, it is somehow offensive that I might object and speak out on the topic.

It isn’t my employer’s fault.  They have a fiduciary obligation to shareholders.  I understand that.  I accept that it sucks to be me.  I object to them wanting to appear to be kind hearted good guys while making tough economic decisions by telling me to shut up.  We tell our clients every day to accept what is posted on the internet about their business operation and focus on actually fixing the problem…..and I’m told to shut up. 

I apologize if my angst about trying to prolong my inevitable outcome is unsavory.  Maybe we can all stick our heads in the sand, pretend the emperor is wearing clothes, and continue to believe business decisions don’t alter lives.  I accept the business decision.  It is somehow unacceptable to talk about their real ramifications.


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3 Responses to Considering a degenerative disease

  1. loriannv says:

    As you well know, in the corporate world, the “problem” is not what is identified as a problem by an individual standing in an office (or writing on facebook), but is rather the individual himself complaining about the problem. The complainer goes away, and so does the problem…See? Easy fix.

  2. loriannv says:

    And everyone thinks running a company is so hard…

  3. zencherry says:

    You have the right to vent. Corporate bungholes and money-throwing insurers! (Shakes fist) I’m tweeting this and facebooking it.

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