Independence day rant

Happy 4th of July!

The national holidays seem to bring out the fucktards.  The social media were bombarded today with admonitions to “support the troops,” “remember where our freedom came from,” and such.  These sentiments are noble in and of themselves.  The problem is they all seem to be posted by gun toting rednecks who never served in the military.


1)  If you never served in the military, you can not display a bumper sticker that says, “you can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.”  You didn’t do shit for your country or our freedom.  Just shut up and enjoy the constitutional rights given to you by others.  Accept that you’re a pompom waving cheerleader on the sidelines.

2)  If you serve in public office and you’re running against an opponent who lost two limbs in combat, and you never served in the military, and you owe over $100K in past due child support, you do not get to say your opponent is not a hero.  In fact, you’re a douchebag.  If you really want to serve our country, consider suicide.  It would significantly improve the quality of our population.

3)  If you keep your money in offshore accounts, and you happen to be running for president, shut your fucking mouth, at least for today, about your love for our country.  Hedge your bets all you want.  Buy some big boy pants and say you have no faith in our economy…..or admit you’re dodging taxes.

4)  If you’re a politician, from anywhere along the political spectrum, spare us your patriotic photo ops today. 

5)  “We hold these truths to be self evident…..”  It has been 236 years.  Let’s actually step up and uphold the founding principles.  We eventually, at least on an institutional level, decided black people were people.  We got around to admitting women were mostly people….we still have some grey areas.  I’m pretty sure gay people are people.  “All men are created equal.”  Prove it, America.

6)  Be humble.  We’ve had a pretty good run with this little social experiment.  We kick ass at kicking ass.  We might be the greatest nation on earth depending upon the definition of “greatest.”  We also have serious problems.  We’re falling further behind in education.  Children are going to bed hungry tonight in America.  We consume vastly more than our per capita share of resources.  It can be reasonably argued that the only thing we’re currently #1 at is military might.  One technological advance (ask Hiroshima) can change that.  Be humble.

7)  Do something.  It’s great that your business FB page posted a picture of a flag today.  Try hiring one of our veterans when they come home.  Embrace all of our Bill of Rights.  Stockpile all the guns you want, but give the same benefits to same sex partners that you do to spouses. 

You know who is appreciative of America, the real essence and promise of America, today?  Illegal immigrants.  They risked their lives and left their families to come here….kind of like our ancestors.  They’re shunned and vilified even though they bring immense economic value.  We, who have been here for a few or many generations, sit around fat and happy and wave little flags on sticks.  They get how tenuous and delicate this American experiment is. 

I’m Darren, and I’m an American, and I believe we’re capable of so much more.

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5 Responses to Independence day rant

  1. Shane Remer says:

    One of the best posts about July 4th, or the U.S. in general.

  2. I’m going to stop writing the essay I was working on the concept of “patriotism” now. You just said everything I wanted to so much more succinctly and effectively.

  3. Kelly Gamble says:

    Oh, DRL. I have been waiting all day, knowing this would be coming. My fellow BC. Happy 4th.

  4. I love the bit about “accepting the fact that you’re a pompom waving cheerleader…” 🙂

  5. I am Tyler and I believe you are correct, Sir.

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